Olivia Brownson

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Hey hey,

Back from a 2 week break away to the UK.
It was very much needed – lots of wholesomeness with family and friends.
There were plenty of social occasions but I managed them how I usually do so hasn’t really impacted body composition at all.

In all honesty I got very let down by my coach who was supposed to be supporting me on this “healing journey”. I guess the level of coaching in the UK is a whole other league compared to other countries. As a coach myself I expect certain standards to be met when paying for a premium service (4 day turn around on check ins with a single sentence response is not acceptable in my opinion).

Anywayyyyy I’m at a point now where I feel fine.
Body composition is not my best but I personally feel fine in every other way which is what I care most about right now. Training is back to being 100% so will continue to progress this. The goal for me now is to stay at a maintenance to continue to give my body a much needed break from being in a deficit whilst still prioritising whole foods.

The come back is always bigger than the set back and that will continue to be the motto

Olivia Brownson

Hey hey,
Updates on my “healing journey” – I’m eating more “normal food” now (thank god). Eating the same foods every day doesn’t bother me, being restrictive also doesn’t bother me after multiple preps etc but this really was a different beast. Eating the same things that you genuinely don’t enjoy for no aesthetic benefit was a lot more challenging than anything else i’ve done so i’m glad that phase has come to an end.

So eating “normal” foods now but still corn free, gluten free, wheat free, no processed foods and low GI. Still fairly restrictive to some but when you live like a bodybuilder it’s pretty much just the norm for me so i’m happy. I have had my first “off plan meal” since I started 4 weeks ago and was nice to able to have a sense of balance back after dieting for 20 weeks prior to starting this process. This is something I will continue to implement in order to maintain a good relationship with food.

I do genuinely feel a lot better in myself which i’m very happy to report. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t visually look my best by any stretch of the imagination, but I actually feel more like “me”. I have more energy, I’m able to train 3 times a week again and that’s currently what matters to me more than how I look as i’m hoping as my health improves the visual improvements will come as a byproduct. I have been doing work on being “body neutral” – so mindset exercises to improve my sense of self, my relationship with my body with where it is right now and implementing this has made this process somewhat easier. After having such a sense of attachment to body image which comes with bodybuilding, it’s something that I have to work on in order for me to continue to get the most out of this process and remain happy in myself whilst I don’t look my best.

I’m also leaving for the UK for 2 weeks this week which i’m looking forward to. I’m going to spend time with family (and escape the Dubai heat for a while). I will continue training x3 per week whilst i’m away and hopefully get to catch up with a few people whilst I’m home.

Olivia Brownson

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